Hopebreak. How eloquently expressed. And how it touched me, absolutely illuminating a feeling that has been with me over the past several years on various different levels. It is like an emotional purgatory, in a sense especially as one is trying to negotiate oneself out of it. And for that, of course, more Hope required!
“Emotional purgatory” is such a painfully accurate way to describe it.
That strange in-between where nothing has fully ended, yet nothing truly arrives either. And yes… the irony that sometimes the only thing that helps us survive hopebreak is more hope.
Thank you for reading so deeply and for putting words to that feeling so beautifully. 🤍
I feel this so heavily, not just through people, but also through circumstances of living. Especially through chronic illness. We adapt to the changes, yes, but every time we have to adapt, we lose a part of ourselves.
I love your take on this and like so many others really relate to hopebreak. Beautiful Aaliya. ❤️
We have so many dreams. When we start on them, but get knocked back and have to start from square one... the hope for that dream was squashed out, too. 😅
For me it's mostly through my epilepsy. It has taken pretty much every route I've tried to explore away.
I hope your complications are able to get more under control so you can continue to hope and dream. ❤️
Thank you for such a beautiful reply as always, Aaliya! At least every adaptation lets us grow more towards who we are today and who we will be tomorrow. 😊
This is so beautifully said. I’m truly sorry for how much epilepsy has taken from the paths you hoped to explore. I know how it can be limiting at times but also your biggest strength because it opens doors for us in ways that changes our lives forever.
And yet I love your perspective, that every adaptation shapes who we are becoming. There is so much grace in that. Thank you for sharing your heart so openly with me. ❤️
A deeply thought out piece. I have to say I am not a holder of hope or for that matter, hopelessness. One of my inspirations in writing, Stephen Jenkinson, coined the term hope free. It resonates more with me. Hope is an island in the future. Hope visits when the shadow calls and perhaps takes us away from the fullest meeting of that more difficult moment? Our grief might be for the lack of being willing, or capable, of meeting ourself fully in all of life's moments. There is a kind of grief for that which you did not know you had until.it was gone.
I found this so relatable. I’ve never had the life I’d hoped for. No partner. I can even choose my own place to live or car to drive. I’m turning 50 in June and I feel like I’ve wasted my life and my fun for others.
I’m going to change that and be a little more selfish and make my life better for MYSELF.
This touched me my dear soul, what you went through is not a small amount of life to carry, and I can feel the grief, frustration, and exhaustion in your words.
But I also felt something else, a spark of defiance. That moment where something inside says enough.
And for what it’s worth, choosing yourself after years of giving yourself away does not sound selfish to me. It sounds deeply human.
Bless your kind heart dear soul ♥️
I’m really rooting for the version of life you begin creating for yourself now. ✨
You put your finger on something so amorphous yet so real. Hopebreak. I have experienced it and I have wasted a lot of years waiting. So beautifully written.
Some forms of grief do not arrive through endings, but through the slow realization that an imagined future quietly became more real than the life around it. The essay understands that strange territory with unusual clarity. Especially the idea of “furnishing rooms you never got to live in.” That stayed.
This is such a beautiful reading, thank you. “Furnishing rooms you never got to live in” came from a place many of us know but struggle to name, so it means a lot that it resonated with you so deeply.
You are always kind. So many of us are experiencing or have experienced this grief and I hope they are okay also. Sending hugs to you and all who need it 🫂🫂
You create so much emotion through your writing, Aalya. You are an angelic presence, always bringing feelings and reflections — like a long-awaited summer rain. You took all the suffering and turned it into a beautiful human being. And that says everything about you.
This is incredibly kind, thank you. Your words touched me more than you know.
I do not know that suffering automatically makes us beautiful, but I do believe we each get a choice in what we do with our pain. If my words help anyone feel a little less alone, then something meaningful has come from it. Thank you for such generosity of heart.
Hopebreak. How eloquently expressed. And how it touched me, absolutely illuminating a feeling that has been with me over the past several years on various different levels. It is like an emotional purgatory, in a sense especially as one is trying to negotiate oneself out of it. And for that, of course, more Hope required!
Thank you for this lovely piece of writing!
“Emotional purgatory” is such a painfully accurate way to describe it.
That strange in-between where nothing has fully ended, yet nothing truly arrives either. And yes… the irony that sometimes the only thing that helps us survive hopebreak is more hope.
Thank you for reading so deeply and for putting words to that feeling so beautifully. 🤍
I feel this so heavily, not just through people, but also through circumstances of living. Especially through chronic illness. We adapt to the changes, yes, but every time we have to adapt, we lose a part of ourselves.
I love your take on this and like so many others really relate to hopebreak. Beautiful Aaliya. ❤️
This touched me deeply. Chronic illness carries its own kind of hopebreak, doesn’t it?
I have had interstitial cystitis and many other complications and they make it so hard for me certain days.
So yeah this one was from my own experiences.
Not just grieving what the body can no longer do, but the versions of ourselves we keep having to quietly say goodbye to with every adaptation.
Thank you for sharing this so beautifully. ❤️
We have so many dreams. When we start on them, but get knocked back and have to start from square one... the hope for that dream was squashed out, too. 😅
For me it's mostly through my epilepsy. It has taken pretty much every route I've tried to explore away.
I hope your complications are able to get more under control so you can continue to hope and dream. ❤️
Thank you for such a beautiful reply as always, Aaliya! At least every adaptation lets us grow more towards who we are today and who we will be tomorrow. 😊
This is so beautifully said. I’m truly sorry for how much epilepsy has taken from the paths you hoped to explore. I know how it can be limiting at times but also your biggest strength because it opens doors for us in ways that changes our lives forever.
And yet I love your perspective, that every adaptation shapes who we are becoming. There is so much grace in that. Thank you for sharing your heart so openly with me. ❤️
❤️
A deeply thought out piece. I have to say I am not a holder of hope or for that matter, hopelessness. One of my inspirations in writing, Stephen Jenkinson, coined the term hope free. It resonates more with me. Hope is an island in the future. Hope visits when the shadow calls and perhaps takes us away from the fullest meeting of that more difficult moment? Our grief might be for the lack of being willing, or capable, of meeting ourself fully in all of life's moments. There is a kind of grief for that which you did not know you had until.it was gone.
I really like this. “Hope free” feels different from hopeless, like you’re not waiting for the future to save you, but you’re also not giving up.
And that last line really stayed with me. Sometimes we don’t even know what something meant to us until it’s already gone.
I found this so relatable. I’ve never had the life I’d hoped for. No partner. I can even choose my own place to live or car to drive. I’m turning 50 in June and I feel like I’ve wasted my life and my fun for others.
I’m going to change that and be a little more selfish and make my life better for MYSELF.
You can do the same. It’s never too late.
This touched me my dear soul, what you went through is not a small amount of life to carry, and I can feel the grief, frustration, and exhaustion in your words.
But I also felt something else, a spark of defiance. That moment where something inside says enough.
And for what it’s worth, choosing yourself after years of giving yourself away does not sound selfish to me. It sounds deeply human.
Bless your kind heart dear soul ♥️
I’m really rooting for the version of life you begin creating for yourself now. ✨
One of the most incredible timely and true things I’ve ever read. And I thank you for your art, your seeing, your vision.
Oh that is such a wonderful compliment thank you so much for such kind words of appreciation. Bless your heart.♥️
Hope break, that's a great concept, mourning the life we never got to live.
Thank you for reading, this came from personal experience and shared ache of all of us 😊
Gosh it struck a chord with me, a great post well-done!
I am glad my words found you, bless you 🙏🏼
You put your finger on something so amorphous yet so real. Hopebreak. I have experienced it and I have wasted a lot of years waiting. So beautifully written.
this is an ache we all feel so deeply.
Sending you my whole heart and love.
Bless you mama. Thank you for reading ♥️🙏🏼
Gorgeous.
My heart is always hanging on a thread because of this.
It's very intimate and difficult to explain, since Hopebreak relates directly to our deepest inner wishes.
Thank you for putting it into words 💜
Thank you my sweet love to reading and sharing your thoughts. This is an ache we all feel too deeply and go through it at some points in our lives.
I am glad my words reached you today. Bless your heart kind one ♥️
Some forms of grief do not arrive through endings, but through the slow realization that an imagined future quietly became more real than the life around it. The essay understands that strange territory with unusual clarity. Especially the idea of “furnishing rooms you never got to live in.” That stayed.
This is such a beautiful reading, thank you. “Furnishing rooms you never got to live in” came from a place many of us know but struggle to name, so it means a lot that it resonated with you so deeply.
Thank you so much for having wrote this and sharing it with us. It has really resonated with me ❤️🩹
Thank you dear soul for reading I am glad my words found you today.
Stay blessed ♥️
Neverheard the word hopebreak before but now i realised i have been experienced that.... May be stilll experiencing🫠.. Beautifully articulated 🤍✨
Thank you so much for reading I am glad it resonated with you ♥️😊
May allah ease your burdens 🥹🤍
Ameen ya rabb ♥️🙏🏼
Fabulous is too modest a word to attribute Aaliya's writing.
This all is so beautiful and all so true! ❤️
Oh thank you so much , you are too kind my friend 🙏🏼♥️
I spoke my heart… and I love your writing…
Hopebreak= the grief that comes when illusion breaks.
That’s true, thank you for writing!!
Just lovely, and fleshed in truth...thank you
Thank you so much for reading I am glad it resonated 🙏🏼♥️
Aaliya, your words captured my grief completely ❤️🩹🫂
I couldn't have expressed it better.
My love I am sending you a big hug and many prayers. Bless your heart ♥️
Thank you so much 🙏🏼❤️🫂
You are always kind. So many of us are experiencing or have experienced this grief and I hope they are okay also. Sending hugs to you and all who need it 🫂🫂
Yes it’s the story of everyone’s lives just the ink is different. Thank ypu for the love darling ♥️
You create so much emotion through your writing, Aalya. You are an angelic presence, always bringing feelings and reflections — like a long-awaited summer rain. You took all the suffering and turned it into a beautiful human being. And that says everything about you.
This is incredibly kind, thank you. Your words touched me more than you know.
I do not know that suffering automatically makes us beautiful, but I do believe we each get a choice in what we do with our pain. If my words help anyone feel a little less alone, then something meaningful has come from it. Thank you for such generosity of heart.
This post touched me, and has inspired my article today. Thank you for speaking to the grief of holding uncertainty.
Dear Jamie I am glad my words resonated with you and I will definitely read your article darling and share my thoughts 🙏🏼